Sammy Spartan Scares Me

Column
Jordan Spurling

Last year, the official Aurora University athletic logo was changed from Sammy Spartan and the letters “AU”, to just simply “AU Spartans”.  Some of you have noticed this and some of you haven’t.  The reason however, is probably not very well known.  It wasn’t done because the athletic department just wanted a change.  It was done to accommodate our politically correct society.  University Administration claimed that the original logo was too “barbaric” and “violent.”  Excuse me, and I may be wrong, but I thought the whole idea behind athletic intimidation was to seem like a dominant opponent?  Since when did we fear that our logo might suddenly jump to life and climb out of the computer screen and murder an innocent by stander? But honestly, I shouldn’t be over reacting about this, because I have heard rumors that next year we are changing our colors to pink and baby blue and changing our mascot to the Aurora University Fluffy Cupcake Princesses.  On the bright side, I can say that I am pretty sure that no one will go to sleep tonight in terror hoping that Sammy the Spartan isn’t lurking underneath their bed.  Don’t worry liberals, we changed the mascot for you.

 One of these are terrifying....

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9 times out 10 this is what you see when you try to get on the Internet.

Dorm Life

Pietro Alfano

It can be expected that your college dorm room is not going to have all the luxuries of home, but a few would be nice. For some campus residents of Aurora University the dorms leave a bit to be desired.

When you think of dorm problems, you probably think of small rooms or having a roommate who you may not get along with. In some of AU’s dorms those are problems people would gladly trade for. “At random times the toilets will start leaking. From all floors all the way down to the basement, then all the floors start leaking water.” Said Davis Hall resident, Julius Lagrone, now to some people that may not seem like a problem; but everyone knows what happens in toilets and if you don’t mind that water leaking into your hallway and rooms then more power to you.

Alright so you get over the fact that you have bipolar toilets. Now you’re in your room and its 100 degrees outside, time to turn on the A.C…or not. “There’s no A.C so you would just lie in bed and bake. You would think the winters would be alright, wrong again. You don’t control the heat so you’re at the mercy of whoever is controlling it” said Jenks resident Derrick Powell. If you’re looking for a good way to lose weight maybe this is the place for you, but if you don’t want to look like you just came out of a cool water commercial every time you leave your dorm then this could be a problem.

Alright now these dorms are kind of old so they have an excuse. If we take a look at the Taj Mahal of AU, we still see things wrong. “Don’t get me wrong the dorm is beautiful, but at two in the morning when I can hear my neighbor talking that’s a problem.” Said New Hall resident Nick Brown

Of course, these are things that are out of the student’s control and I’m sure there are actions being taken to fix all of these problems. In the mean time we just have to keep our hopes high with our overwhelming love for our University and all of its great qualities 

Bullet hole in cafeteria window?

Yeah I remember the last time we had a shoot out in the caf

To skip, or not to skip?

Column
Pietro Alfano


Your alarm goes off and immediately you have a rush of positive emotion, you leap from your warm comfortable bed and rush to get to class out of pure excitement.

Now it is possible that not everyone has these feelings when they wake up in the morning. So what else could possibly be going through your mind? Well maybe you are thinking, it’s just a lecture day or we aren’t going to be doing anything important maybe I should just skip class; it is college.

Were just going to hit the brakes on that idea from the get go. Even if it is college and we are all supposed to be adults and be able to make our own decisions, there is one that is made for us. Aurora University has a very strict attendance policy. This may get under some peoples skin but let’s take into consideration the benefits of this policy.  

First, you are not cutting yourself short of being able to absorb any useful information that your professor is willing to instill on you that day. Second, you don’t have to worry about missing an exam that could dramatically affect your grade. Lastly, college is not cheap and if you’re going to pay that much for school why not go to class?

However, everyone has their own opinion on the importance of going to class. Since we do not get Veterans Day, Casmir Pulaski Day, or remember the Alamo day off school some might think they deserve a few personal days.  Regardless, 3 missed classes and there’s no going back, your grades about to go down.  So don’t be a sad Spartan, be cool and show up to school!

Treasure hunting- I mean parking

Where’s Waldo? Hide and go seek. I spy. If you think of any other games that are like looking for a parking spot at Aurora University, please leave in the comment box below. 

You can continue to loop around the parking lot, nothing is going to change.  I have the luxury of living close to campus and do not have to worry about finding a parking spot, but, I know how vicious of a world it is here at AU.  If a car’s white reverse lights come on, the Daytona 500 might as well have started, because that is what it is like watching cars make a B-Line to the almost empty parking space.

It’s no secret that parking is a HUGE issue here at AU, maybe even the biggest problem.  Campusprowler.com gives AU parking a D- on their scale.

The following is a direct quote from Aurora University’s website: “Parking is available on campus. If campus parking lots are full, parking is available in the neighborhood surrounding the university…Please plan to arrive in sufficient time to find parking prior to the start of the ceremony.”  Now, let’s break this down.  First of all, props to university officials for trying to make it sound a lot better than it actually is.  “Parking is available on campus.”  That’s correct AU, parking is available on campus, but for only 25 percent of the university community.  “If campus parking lots are full, parking is available in the neighborhood surrounding the university.” Oh, absolutely correct once again, that is only if you accept the fact that you’re probably going to make some nice little suburban family angry and get a ticket by the Aurora Police Department.  And oh yeah, I forgot to mention, you’ll have to hike to class.  (probably in the snow as well).  As for the last part of the statement: “Please plan to arrive in sufficient time to find parking prior to the start of the ceremony.” Is class considered a ceremony now?

Bottom line, AU need’s to step up its parking game.  If you’re lucky enough to find a parking spot within 5 minutes of looking next day you have class, enjoy yourself, and realize, it will never happen again….

You don't get your baskets back until we get our dang quesadillas in under 4 seconds